Werewood: Silly Season Also Exists in Guitar Land

It seems that even Premier Guitar Magazine and by extension the Gibson PR machine can be affected by the late summer slow news phase — known in the UK as The Silly Season — when publications are forced to scrape the barrel for copy and the redtops run stories such as LION SPOTTED IN ESSEX!!! (swiftly followed by Oh No Sorry, As You Were It Was Probably Just Someone’s Cat).

In Guitarville, The Silly Season has manifested itself as some dufus luthier prattling on to Premier Guitar about harvesting wood at different phases of the moon. This has much in common with the principles of biodynamic agriculture, used notably by some wine makers and which frankly is just a clever way to turn a bunch of loosely-related new age beliefs and superstitions into a branding signal for those who want a further reason to indulge in conspicuous consumption. Actually, come to think of it, I can see how this strategy might also work very well in the high-end boutique guitar market.

Here’s an example of the lunacy he espouses

Somogyi researched the subject and concluded that tree-fellers have noted this since the first millennium. “Woods of any one species cut during the new moon, the full moon, or the waning moon, have consistently and predictably produced different results,” he writes. “Therefore, a number of especially advantageous uses for timber – including guitar tops – have been correlated with specific felling dates. These woods for soundboards are available to luthiers and can be found through a simple search by using the keywords “full moon wood.”

(Bold emphasis is mine)

To which I have one thing to say: Fucking prove it.